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 Hell In A Cell 2017

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MysticEyes

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PostSubject: Hell In A Cell 2017   Thu 12 Oct - 12:57



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Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin def. The Hype Bros (Kickoff Match)



DETROIT — They don’t get hype, but they probably should have.
The Hype Bros’ recent miscommunication curse continued at WWE Hell in a Cell Kickoff, allowing Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin to claim an enormous win over the embattled broskis.

Zack Ryder & Mojo Rawley started the bout on a strong note by isolating Gable from the veteran Benjamin.

However, in contrast to Rawley’s aggressive approach, Ryder seemed to relish the friendly competition, sharing a handshake with Gable and going move-for-move with Benjamin before The Gold Standard administered a rude awakening in the form of a punishing spinebuster after The Ultimate Broski went for another handshake.

Now it was Ryder’s turn to suffer an isolation-based attack, though Mojo nearly got the bros back on track singlehandedly once he got the tag.

The reigning Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal winner weathered the tandem offense and bailed Ryder out of a pinfall after The Gold Standard hit him with Paydirt when a Hype Ryder went awry.

Gable & Shelton was one more step in sync than their foes, though.
Gable dumped Mojo out of the ring right after that aforementioned Paydirt, and the two grapplers administered another incredible double-team maneuver to put Ryder away.

So The Hype Bros’ chemistry continues to falter, while Gable & Benjamin’s seems to just be hitting its stride.
To borrow Gable’s own words: It looks good on them.


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PostSubject: Re: Hell In A Cell 2017   Thu 12 Oct - 12:59

The Usos def. The New Day to become new SmackDown Tag Team Champions (Hell in a Cell Match)



DETROIT — Hell in a Cell became The Uso Penitentiary, and Jimmy & Jey earned their fifth Tag Team Championship after powering past The New Day in a match that could only be described as barbaric.

It was that way from the opening bell, as Big E dented the cell with an early spear and Xavier Woods played a tune on The Usos, literally.

He destroyed both Francesca II Turbo and her immediate replacement (presumably Francesca III) before employing a cowbell and a gong to his dastardly purposes.

The Usos answered with a running stink face to Woods in the crux of the cell wall.
Not to be outdone, ya boys proved there were some seriously cruel intentions beneath the unicorns and cereal boxes, trapping Jey in the corner of the cell by threading several kendo sticks through the links of the cage.

The Usos, however, saw New Day and raised them — again, literally.
Once Jey freed himself and superkicked Woods, the two brothers took out Big E with a suicide dive after he was perched on one of the challengers’ shoulders.

They then unleashed their most savage strategy of the night, handcuffing Big E to the ring and then stringing Woods up over the ring post with cuffs of his own.
The brothers then teed off on Woods with an endless series of kendo stick strikes.

Big E harnessed his last bit of unicorn magic by breaking free of his bonds, but a Double Uce took the wind out of his sails for good.

Woods broke up that pinfall attempt, but he was now on his own.
Still, his last stand was memorable.

With his hands still tied, Woods threw headbutts and clubbed axe-handles, but The Usos overwhelmed him, propped a chair on his chest and hit another Double Uce for the win.

In the place where rivalries are settled forever, both tag teams dug deep into the cruelest corners of their imagination, but Jimmy & Jey would not be, could not be, and were not denied.

They even made a show of dangling the titles in the assembled New Day’s face with the confidence and glee of a team that knew this was coming since Day One.


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PostSubject: Re: Hell In A Cell 2017   Thu 12 Oct - 13:01

Randy Orton def. Rusev



DETROIT — No sneak attacks, no post-match challenges, no shenanigans of any kind.
Just an RKO and a 1-2-3 to hand Randy Orton a decisive victory over Rusev in an anticipated rubber match at WWE Hell in a Cell.

Given that the 1-1 series had thus far been decided under increasingly skewed circumstances, there was a question as to whether Round Three would conclude in similarly abrupt fashion, especially when Orton went for an early RKO.

The Super Athlete showed he was ready for that and more.
After evading the RKO and bulldozing Orton out of the ring, Rusev hit The Apex Predator with an impressive fallaway slam into the barricade.

With the lingering specter of the RKO still lurking, Rusev opted to simply brutalize Orton.
The offense was indeed punishing, but the former United States Champion may have taken a bit too long to savor in his own skills. He opted for holds instead of strikes, paused for the occasional triumphant pose and seemed generally confident that Orton would simply wear out down the stretch.

The Bulgarian Brute didn’t immediately roll over once Orton started to get inventive, but a few expertly-picked maneuvers by the 13-time World Champion slowly began to whittle the mighty Superstar down to size.

A backdrop to the barricade slowed Rusev, and a collision with the ring post left him loopy.
At the last moment, Rusev took a page out of his opponent's book, nearly sealing the deal with a jaw-dropping attempt of an Accolade outta nowhere.

But The Viper’s ensuing escape left The Super Athlete just tripped up enough that the ensuing RKO hit its mark perfectly.
Happy Orton Day.


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PostSubject: Re: Hell In A Cell 2017   Thu 12 Oct - 13:09

Baron Corbin def. AJ Styles and Tye Dillinger to become the new United States Champion



DETROIT — Technically, Baron Corbin didn’t take any shortcuts to become the new United States Champion.

He pinned a Superstar, clean as a whistle, 1-2-3, to earn his first title in WWE.
He just didn’t pin the United States Champion.

After SmackDown General Manager Daniel Bryan added Tye Dillinger to what had originally been a battle between Corbin and reigning titleholder AJ Styles, Corbin found himself outnumbered and targeted by two Superstars who were very open about their mutual respect for one another.

And given that Dillinger had finagled his way into the match off the strength of a pinfall win over Corbin this past week on SmackDown LIVE, he posed just as significant a challenge to The Lone Wolf’s championship aspirations as The Phenomenal One.

Yet the former Mr. Money in the Bank played the situation right from the beginning, sitting back and letting Styles and Dillinger tee off on each other before picking the bones of whomever was left standing.

In one particularly genius sequence, Corbin even launched Styles into Dillinger, then slid The Phenomenal One face-first into the ring post.

The Lone Wolf focused the most intense of his efforts on Styles in order to isolate Dillinger, but The Phenomenal One brawled his way back into the match for a one-on-one throwdown.

While Styles got a little too ambitious with an attempt at a Styles Clash, he was still able to clock Corbin with a knee to the head on the outside.

Dillinger immediately threw himself into the fray and found himself trapped in a Calf Crusher, though Corbin pulled him to the outside to prevent a tapout.

A three-way brawl followed, and Styles seemed to have the final upper hand after connecting with a Phenomenal Forearm on The Perfect 10.

Before AJ could cover Dillinger, however, Corbin viciously booted him out of the ring and covered Tye for the pin.
As Corbin himself mentioned on Talking Smack, that’s a win that won’t sit well with the WWE Universe.

And perhaps it shouldn’t.
Styles losing his title without getting pinned does seem like something of an injustice.
But as Baron Corbin knows better than anyone, life can be unfair, and sometimes respect must be taken.

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PostSubject: Re: Hell In A Cell 2017   Thu 12 Oct - 13:13

Charlotte Flair def. SmackDown Women’s Champion Natalya via Disqualification



DETROIT — Charlotte Flair may have defeated Natalya at WWE Hell in a Cell, but a disqualification ruling ensures that The Queen of Harts lives to fight another day as SmackDown Women’s Champion.

That’s a bitter pill for Charlotte to swallow, given that her entire campaign for the Blue Brand’s Women’s Title was something of a crusade in the name of her father, Ric Flair, whose recent brush with mortality motivated Charlotte to restore gold to the family name.

The good news for sports-entertainment purists, however, was that the two’s penchant for thrilling matches hasn’t abated since their last pay-per-view meeting in mid-2016.

The rivals picked up almost exactly where they left off, although Charlotte took some time adjusting to fighting from underneath.

The Queen of Harts mangled the Flair heiress’ left knee and ankle, presumably to soften her up for the Sharpshooter.

A one-legged Charlotte answered through pure upper-body strength, prying her way out of a Sharpshooter and raining chops on the titleholder with reckless abandon.
Each time, however, the match came down to the bad leg and Natalya’s willingness to punish it.

A shaky-legged moonsault attempt from Charlotte led to a tremendous powerbomb, and a missed Figure-Four found Flair driven knee-first into the steel steps.

While a successful moonsault to the outside didn’t lead to a pinfall, it did end the match nonetheless.
Natalya grabbed hold of a steel chair and went to town on Charlotte’s bum knee, bringing the bout to a disqualification close.

Cruel? Yes.
Underhanded? Absolutely.
But Charlotte should know better than anybody: The Queen does as she likes.


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PostSubject: Re: Hell In A Cell 2017   Thu 12 Oct - 13:21

“The Fashion Files” returned at WWE Hell in a Cell



DETROIT — Fandango & Tyler Breeze solved the case of “2B” — or so they thought.
Breezango’s expedited investigation sent a man to jail, though the “2B” clue just turned out to be an elaborate friend request by The Ascension (“We want 2B your friends”).

They had no interest in befriending Konnor & Viktor, but they were quickly presented with a glowing briefcase that promised a new investigation any patron of Big Kahuna Burger will recognize.

You know what that means: Stay tuned for “Pulp Fashion” this Tuesday.


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PostSubject: Re: Hell In A Cell 2017   Thu 12 Oct - 13:24

WWE Champion Jinder Mahal def. Shinsuke Nakamura



DETROIT — The Maharaja’s modern day continues.
Jinder Mahal is still WWE Champion, and Shinsuke Nakamura remains a strong style king without a crown, despite a knock-down Detroit fistfight that landed him closer to SmackDown LIVE’s ultimate prize than almost anybody who has challenged Mahal.

With The Singh Brothers patrolling ringside as always, Mahal’s main concern was weathering the early storm of Nakamura’s unorthodox offense, designed to weaken both mind and body in equal measure.

Possessing a significant strength advantage, The Modern Day Maharaja leaned hard on his power to stifle WWE's Rockstar each time it seemed like Nakamura was beginning to pull away.

But pull away he did, unleashing a storm of knees on The Modern Day Maharaja that left him in ruins on the ring apron.

A timely interference by The Singh Brothers ended in disaster for Sunil & Samir but allowed Mahal the wherewithal to dodge a knee drop off the apron, keeping his hopes of victory alive.

Nakamura, too, stayed in the thick of things, scurrying out of the Khallas and chasing off the meddlesome Singh Brothers.

Yet, even after being ejected by the official, Sunil & Samir proved their worth, distracting the ref after Nakamura landed a devastating Kinshasa on Mahal’s head, which gave their boss enough recovery time to grab the ropes and break up what would have been a decisive pinfall.

And Mahal, who had leaned so heavily on the Singhs' assistance to win and retain his title, proved he was just as deadly without his helpers, dodging a Kinshasa attempt that landed Nakamura knee-first into the turnbuckle.

Reeling from the impact, The Artist staggered backward into a brutal Khallas, which put him down for the 1-2-3.

An inspired effort, the optimum challenger, a perfect storm of circumstances, and yet for Shinsuke Nakamura, the WWE Title remained just out of reach.

And for the WWE Universe, the question of who will defeat The Modern Day Maharaja remains unanswered.

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PostSubject: Re: Hell In A Cell 2017   Thu 12 Oct - 13:27

Bobby Roode def. Dolph Ziggler



DETROIT — Is it too much of a layup to say Bobby Roode’s WWE pay-per-view debut was positively glorious? Perhaps.

But it was all the same, as the former NXT Champion knocked off a Dolph Ziggler that the WWE Universe may not have recognized initially.

The Showoff, who has spent the last month or so mocking every elaborate entrance in WWE history, made a unique statement before the match began by entering to almost no music or lighting in order to keep the spotlight on his near-unmatched skills in the ring.

To Dolph, Roode, who walks the ramp to one of the more extravagant entrances today, is the epitome of flash over substance.

Still, The Glorious One showed he could hang with the former World Heavyweight Champion’s skills almost instantly.

Roode went move-for-move with Ziggler and still found time for the occasional call-and-response “GLORIOUS!” chant with the crowd.

Ziggler answered with a gritty, unforgiving offense, pulverizing Roode with holds, locks, and at one point, a drag of his face across the ropes that would have been welcome in the knock-down main events of the territory days.

It was a stark departure from a Superstar who once combined his chinlocks with headstands just because he could, but it proved effective nonetheless, as a Famouser landed The Showoff a precarious nearfall.

You can’t take the showoff entirely out of Dolph Ziggler, though.
He took a little long to tune up the band in preparation for the superkick, leading to a brutal spinebuster from The Glorious One.

The ensuing scramble resulted in a series of rollups, and when Dolph attempted to get the win by grabbing a handful of Roode’s tights, his foe answered by grabbing a handful of Ziggler’s own trunks to get the deciding pinfall.

Turnabout, of course, is fair play, but Ziggler did not take the loss lying down, wrenching Roode to the mat with a Zig Zag seconds after the pin had been counted.

The move makes sense.
For Bobby Roode, a win in his first-ever WWE pay-per-view match is, perhaps, the best entrance of all.
And we know how Dolph Ziggler feels about those.


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PostSubject: Re: Hell In A Cell 2017   Thu 12 Oct - 13:30

Kevin Owens def. Shane McMahon (Falls Count Anywhere Hell in a Cell Match)



DETROIT — The Falls Count Anywhere Hell in a Cell brawl between Shane McMahon and Kevin Owens did indeed feature splintered tables, dented trash cans, and one of The Prodigal Son’s infamous leaps.

But it was a late-game appearance by Sami Zayn, of all people, that turned the tide and allowed Owens to walk out of the place where rivalries are settled forever with the win in hand.

Before Zayn made a decision that will reverberate for weeks, if not months to come, however, Owens and Shane unleashed a barrage of punishment on each other that hadn’t been seen since — well, since about three hours earlier, but this particular Hell in a Cell Match had an extra layer of animosity to it.

In keeping with his insults and injury to the McMahon family over the last few weeks, Owens grinded Shane’s face into the steel in full view of his family and yelled that he, rather than Shane, should be his children’s role model.

Shane responded by working KO like a speed bag, and then nearly pinned him at ringside after Owens whiffed on a running cannonball through a table.

When that didn’t work, he whacked Owens over the back with half of the pine and went Coast-to-Coast with the assist of a trash can. Methodical but not manic, surgical but not savage, deliberate but not demented.

And then he looked up.
With chaos in his eyes, Shane used a pair of bolt cutters to pick the lock of the Cell, causing the brawl to spread around and, eventually, atop the Cell itself, where Shane pursued Owens after KO hesitated on a leap of faith of his own. The ensuing fight left millions of WWE fans clutching their chests, especially when a Pop-up Powerbomb from Owens nearly buckled the Cell a la Mankind in 1998.

After a lengthy fight, Owens seemed to think better of the entire enterprise and attempted to climb down the cage.

Shane pursued in a mad fury, hammering KO with kidney punches and slamming his head into the Cell until he fell off the side and plummeted through an announce table below.

Shane seemed primed to seize the pinfall after ushering a squad of paramedics away from KO, but then he thought better of it … or rather, decided to finish the job.

Shane hauled Owens one table over and headbutted him into a prone position. He then ascended the Cell one more time before plunging off the side for the Leap of Faith … and then, all of a sudden, Kevin Owens wasn’t there. Because Sami Zayn had pulled him aside.

Owens’ best friend and greatest enemy, the man he had antagonized and injured and left in ruins, had saved him. And nobody knew why.

Even Sami didn’t seem to know why.
He only snapped out of his trance to haul Owens onto Shane’s body and shove the referee down to count the pinfall amidst the ruins of the table.

Although battered beyond belief, Shane, thankfully, flashed a thumbs-up as the paramedics wheeled him out.
Sami seemed even more shaken up, exiting in a daze.

Owens walked off on his own two feet, albeit with a little help, the only man to leave Hell under his own power.
Give the win to Owens, but the assist to the angel on his shoulder.


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